A day in my shoes

Every day that I wake up and put my feet on the floor, I am thankful.

I’m thankful that I am breathing. I’m thankful for my pacemaker. I’m thankful for all the pills that are keeping me alive. Each day also comes with uncertainty and surprises. What I would give to have beautiful consistency in my life.

Most mornings, I wake up after 2-4 hours of sleep, not knowing how my day will go. Pills are always a part of my breakfast, and experiencing pain and discomfort is one thing I am always sure of – but still, I get up feeling grateful that I get to. One thing is for sure - no day is the same. As the day progresses I could be getting my nails done, dining with friends or spending time with my grandson. On the more difficult days, I could be hospitalized, or attending appointment after appointment. On the hardest days, I can’t do anything or go anywhere at all. All of this changes minute by minute, not day by day. 

We all know that our time is precious and nobody knows what the future holds, any day could be our last. This feeling takes on a whole new meaning when it feels like you are constantly fighting an uphill battle with your health and wellbeing. When a terminal illness takes over your body, thoughts of the end are never far away, even though those around me see something different. The days that are unbearable are the ones very few people witness.  

I try not to leave things undone or unsaid, which is why this new chapter of opening up on the happiest and the darkest moments of my life is something I am extremely passionate about. I want to leave a lasting and positive impact on this world. I want to be able to share my stories, my triumphs, my lessons and knowledge with you, my dear friend. I plan to share with you how I defied the odds, how I persevered through homelessness, abuse, multiple illnesses, divorce and so much more. I live passionately during dark times through laughter, friendships and countless travels around the world. I intend to use this platform to share my love for adventure, family, work, and SHOES…oh how I love my shoes.  

I love my life and cherish every one of my moments, and I am so thankful for the opportunity to share it with you.